Great Tanking News! Canucks Lose. Badly. On HNIC.

Bad news... Lost Demmers too.

Here's what we learned: Nucks season is over. Only part of the season they can hope to win is the trading part. But can Alvin win that section of the program? Actually it's JR. Alvin is in the management pressbox for the duration.

This game cemented the Nucks spot in the standings. We really are the worst team in the league. No longer mushy middle meh, Nucks are the real deal. A really bad team, poorly coached.

The Nucks worked hard, but every forward had the yipps or were thwarted by a Woll. Every D seemed to have a wandering fixation to stray away from the net front as part of Footy's inscrutable D-zone strategy. Or they were all waiting from a call from their agents. Does Footsey even have an agent?

Period 1

Nucks didn't score any goals.

CoTU scored 3 on Demmmers. Who didn't return after the 1st.

Nucks down 3-0 after 1 despite outshooting the Laffs 15-6 in the period.

What's that stat about the Nucks outshooting opponent and losing? It just got worse.

Period 2

Nucks didn't score any goals.

CoTU scored one on Lank.

4-0 Unbearable Laffing.

At least the Nucks didn't overshoot the outshooting. Shots 12-8 CoTU.

OMG
Too many goals.
We are folding halfway through the game.

-- Atty

The folding isn't over, unfortunately.

Period 3

Nucks didn't score any goals.

Because it's tradition on this heinous road trip to give up 5 goals a game, CoTU scored another on a late PP.

Nucks lose 5-0. In the game of mistakes, Canucks made plenty.

Went 0-for-6 on their PP. PK was 50% and were out faced-off in the dot.

But still... they were right there.

All the Nucks D are minus -1... all we asked for was a little consistency... last season.

-- jimmi

Special teams not specialing tonight. If ya can't win 5-on-5, it's an option.

But mostly I think we're waiting for those trades, right? The players sure seem like they are.

-- Thursday

OBSERVATIONS:

Nucks were trying even harder not to make too many mistakes... so they made more. Every period.

Players of Interest:

None of them scored or got an assist, so... trade them all.

Ah well, another game, another loss on our way to losing the draft lottery from 32nd place so we can pick the one guy in the top 5 who turns out to be a complete bust.

-- Twitch

Ok ok the tank is on, I've accepted that. But will Boeser ever score again? #Canucks

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— lady🇨🇦 luck🇨🇦 canuck (@ladyluckcanuck.bsky.social) January 10, 2026 at 8:13 PM

Yes, a puck will hit him in the butt and ricochet in

— Ralph In The Ridge🇨🇦 (@ralphintheridge.bsky.social) January 10, 2026 at 8:26 PM

GAME HIGHLIGHTS

Shortie and Dave don't deserve HNIC status in CoTU. So it's the homers. Mute button engaged.

GAME STATS

COMMENTING OUT LOUD

Petey gets to have the accountability presser.

Footsey says... 'you know'... it was 'right there'. The frustration.

We can call it now. This was total embarrassment in the CoTU on HNIC. Can't get any worse than that.

Except... it's the Canucks, as Kent reminds us, it can always get worse.

While Nucks are on a 8 game L-skid in the last 9. Only 3 have been on this road trip. That's not so bad.

Until Monday in Montreal and then get to lose to the Sens on Tuesday because we're running low on goalies. Again.

Will the Canucks ever win another game this season? Of course they will. Just have to play a team that's worse than they are. Oh... never mind.

#TankOn.