Come For The Banter - Stay For The Disappointment
Nucks Fan Rebuild & Retool Center - Come For The Banter - Stay For The Disappointment
Good ... whatever the #*($! time it is. Thankfully, you folks in BC won't have to deal with this blasted Daylight Savings Time crap, because the author of "Tanko," an ancient, cynical beast is now an ancient, cynical and sleep-deprived beast.
But he was mostly awake at some point today, awake enough to shuffle the bits on the TANKO card, and create an entry for tonight's game.
| T | A | N | K | O |
| Jake DeBrusk fails to score | Rookie makes mistake, minutes reduced | Canucks penalized in the last three minutes of the game | Canucks surrender first goal | Opposition scores 5 or more goals |
| Foote uses "Resilience" in pre/post-game interviews | Team mis-reports/mis-evaluates injury in previous 72 hours | Opposition scores empty-net goal | Opponent scores hat-trick | Someone mentions that VCR isn't actually eliminated. Techically. |
| Video review goes against the Canucks | EP40 <50% in faceoff circle | Thatcher Demko injured | PO Joseph out of position on a goal | Opposition player bumps scoring slump |
| Someone throws Quinn Hughes jersey on the ice | EP 40 falls down/is knocked down | Player/coach mentions “system,” whatever that means | Marcus Petterson out of position on a goal. | Brock Boeser held goal-less |
| Opposition has a player out-scoring EP40 at less cost | Marcus Petterson is out of position on a goal | Penalty kill surrenders goal | Power play fails to score | Canucks Shut Out
|
Have fun. Lordy, someone needs to. And if anyone's going to the game live tonight, do me a favour and yell "Fire Jim Benning" for old times sake.
If you fill out any line (because it's Bingo, in masquerade, and if we need to tell you how to play bingo, you've got bigger problems than we can solve on our budget) raise a hurrah, post the card in Bluesky with a #canucks #tanko hashtag, and revel in the winning.
PS: Here's a stunning thought.... the Canucks are not yet officially eliminated from post-season play. Math is a cruel mistress.
