Come For The Banter - Stay For The Disappointment

Nucks Fan Rebuild & Retool Center - Come For The Banter - Stay For The Disappointment

Tanko for April 1

April 1, 2026

General Mayhem

- Vern Faulkner

Today might be the day when the Canucks clinch the basement. Good gravy.

T	A	N	K	O
Veteran makes bonehead play, minutes not reduced	Rookie makes mistake, minutes reduced	Opposition scores 5 or more goals	Opposition has a player out-scoring EP40 at less cost	Jake DeBrusk fails to score
Player/coach mentions “system,” whatever that means	EP40 <50% in faceoff circle	Video review goes against the Canucks	Atu Raty barely given ice time.	Foote gives big minutes to Evander Kane
Blundered line change.	Opponent scores hat-trick	Thatcher Demko injured	Brock Boeser held goal-less	Opposition player bumps scoring slump
Evander Kane takes a dumb penalty	Canucks penalized in the last three minutes of the game	Canucks Shut Out	PO Joseph out of position on a goal.	Coach says “resilient/resilience” at game-day skate/pregame
EP 40 falls down/is knocked down	Opposition scores empty-net goal	Penalty kill surrenders goal	Power play fails to score	EP 40 fails to get a shot on goal. Again.

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