The Vancouver Canucks would like us to treat the management structure announcement like a superhero movie and just … believe. In the same way you think some Aussie in Spandex lifting a silver-painted Styrofoam prop is actually a Norse god heaving a mythical giant-smacker nobody else on the planet – or in Asgaard – can lift, we are supposed to believe that Ryan Johnson and the legendary duo of Daniel and Henrik Sedin will now solve all of the Vancouver Canucks problems.

Huzzah. Plan the parade.

Sufficient belief will help smooth over the many questions that don’t have ready answers. Sure, the Sedins are wonderful people. But since 2021, the twins have been in some way involved in the trainwreck that used to be a respectable NHL franchise, which raises ugly questions.

1. If they had the power to effect change, why didn’t that change take place? 
2. If they weren’t in a position to effect change, why are elevated to key positions now?

Please, believe the Sedins will be great executives off the ice just because they were sensational on it. Kindly overlook the problem with that assumption, which is - it's wrong. If on-ice excellence translated into other aspects of the game, Wayne Gretzky’s name would be plastered all over the Jack Adams trophy as NHL coach of the year.

The problem with the Sedin promotion is obvious: it appears gimmicky. It appears performative. It’s not the first time the Canucks have played the returning-hero card after all, and in the past, it hasn’t worked out. But believe that this time - this time - it will be different.

Likewise, believe with your heart that while Jim Ruthorford and Patrick Allvin were on the helm of the good ship HMS Vancouver Canucks, Johnson had nothing to do with any of their Exxon Valdez-level foulups despite standing beside them on the bridge for the last two years. That means, his fingers are on the re-signing of perpetually broken netminder Thatcher Demko, the bonehead re-signing of Brock Boeser, the Conor Garland contract extension, the Pierre-Oliver Joseph failure, the Vasili Podkolzin trade, the decision to burn a first-round draft pick for Marcus Pettersson, and the daft trade for Evander Kane.

Likewise, you should believe Johnson had no power to influence a workplace environment that became so toxic the most exciting player in Canucks history not named Bure wanted out, and that after J.T. Miller tore the dressing room to bits. Maybe, just maybe, one can believe Johnson is innocent here. 

Heck, let’s just assume that. 

But doing so risks more of those pesky, inconvenient questions, or in this case a logical conundrum:

1. Johnson was not involved sufficiently in the franchise to have knowledge, which means he doesn’t have the experience to run the team, or
2. Johnson was sufficiently involved to gain experience, but then in that case he clearly lacked the leadership and capacity to change the things that needed changing.

Alternately, you could just believe that in the same way a spindly kid bitten by a radioactive spider will gain the power to climb walls, Johnson ate contaminated artisanal Tilset from Granville Market, and after a day-long fever, emerged with altered brain chemistry and a newfound power to solve the same mess he witnessed (if not helped) create.

Now that you’ve opened up a separate browser tab to search “Tilset” and have verified it is, indeed, a soft yellow-white cheese with Swiss origins, please watch that Youtube video of “the shift,”  and while delighting in the dulcet tones of Jim Hughson hold on to all that feel-good for as long as you can. That will help you overlook the niggling fact that after exhaustive weeks of interviewing the greatest available hockey minds in the business (as well as Pierre Dorion) in search of the candidates to revitalize the Canucks, the Aquilini ownership and Rutherford are shocked – shocked, I say – to discover the best solution to all the team’s problems was right in front of their noses, all along.

Golly-gee whiz, would you believe that?

If you do, I’ve got a legendary Norse warhammer to sell you. Send several thousand dollars for shipping, the blasted thing is heavy.