ANOTHER HORROR NIGHT IN THE ROG!

THE NUCKS NEED A NEW HOME RINK! Maybe up north or east.

It's the 2nd Worst home loss in just 3 games!!!

If you had to watch this Nucking Puckastrophe you might have had flashbacks to the epic collapses of 2022. Or last month. Or last weekend.

First the good news... Lekkerimäki scores his 1st NHL goal! With the 1st goal of the game! On the 1st Nucking shot of the game! Yay!

And Josh returns to the lineup after beating ball cancer! Yay!

And that ends the good news section of the program. Thanks for reading!

Now for the bad news...

After getting the 1st goal of the game seemed like the Canucks had done all the heavy lifting by breaking the giving up the 1st goal in 8 of the last 9.

It's like "Oh the rookie scored... we may as well just take a fucking holiday now."
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First of the holiday makers was the Nucking PK, as they had to face the near worst PP in the league. And the Isles were having a lazy power play, but the Nucks PK can remain near motionless too. Myers was having a nap during a critical moment. And soon the moment was over. 1-1 tie.

Ugh, Lazy PP scores on lazy PK
Jimmi

Booo... lazy team gets scored on, surprising nobody.
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By the time this weak sauce Nucking period finishes, the Nucks manage, despite their country club fatigue, managed 2 more shots to finish the period with 3. One from Pete from center ice. And one from Ronnie. From his own end. Ugh.

BUT WAIT! IT GETS WORSE!

14 seconds into the 2nd period, off the opening faceoff, Isles put a puck around the Nucks net. Quinn is there to catch and release the puck. To an Islander, who passes to Mayfield who puts a muffin on net. Which Mr. Miffler turns into a poison puck with a tip past Lanky.

2-1 Isles. Mayfield's 1st goal of the season. That's nice. Nucks so generous in the ROG.

JT SCORES! on us.
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When your team looks weak and shaky in the initial seconds of the second when the game is no longer tied, what could go wrong?

Lots. Barely couple minutes later, with the Isles completely dominating the sleepy Nucks, rimming the puck, getting to the goal mouth and scoring while making the Soup & Myers D combo look like the least appetizing pairing on the menu.

Annnnd the collapse continues... 3-1. Wake the fuck up boys...
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3-1 Isles and there's still 17+ minutes of sleepy time remaining.

And in those minutes, the Nucks summon their inner 2017 JB roster to struggle to get 3 shots on net. That puts their weak sauce effort at 6 shot after 40 minutes. Nucks had 20 shot attempts through 2 full periods. Ouch!

But wait, it's worse, because Nucks start the 3rd on the PK... because...

Hronek is going full fedler tonight... just needs to break a stick on a one timer and he'll have the 23 hattrick...

Annnnd there it is... lazy skate to the bench by hronek forces a too much man...now he doesn't even need to break a stick to get the edtrick.
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Going into the 3rd, the people in the ROG who paid hundreds for their seat to be entertained by a Taco tough team, expected the previous 40 minutes of the Nucks-Light team to start playing heavy and at least execute some basic team defense.

But when Nucking disappointment crushes us fans, it can get emotional... for us. Not the players.

The guys fixing the glass showing the most emotion of any vancouver person tonight...
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CLOWN SHOES

Will it get better in the 3rd? Not before it gets worse.

When Nucks team D is struggling as much as the Nucks offence, you know team D can reach into their little circus bag of tricks and slip on their wigs and footwear.

Nucks can't clear a puck, can't check a player, can't move a motionless puck sitting 8 feet in front of Lanky. Can only watch helplessly as the puck is blasted past their goalie.

lol clown shoes... canucks defense looking like the administration trump's building...
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Fortunately, Taco challenges the 38 seconds of clowning because the goal is offside. Whew!

Nucks have dodged the clown ball and will smarten up, for sure. By continuing to get clowned in their own zone. Roonie extending his edtrick by wearing clown shoes on his knees and facing the wrong way for best defensive coverage.

There's your clownshoes back again... just a complete lack of defensive effort tonight.
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4-1 Isles and the game is so far out of reach, the crafty Taco calls a timeout when his team is 3 goals down. Coaches can clown around too, it seems.

What a waste of a timeout. Although it was a nice break from the spastic, ridiculous defensive breakdowns we witnessed previously.

With the Nucks getting their 1st power play of the game at the 15 minute mark of the, thankfully, final period, Taco gets all bold and pulls Lanky, who was also thankful and it's the mighty Nucks 6-on-4 PP.

That doesn't score, but eventually gives up the EN after the PP expired. Because, why not?

Finally the Nucks starting putting pucks in the right place and wouldn't you know it, Mr Chaos himself gets his 1st goal of the season.

Myers scores! We win! (absolutely nothing but embarassment...)
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Two Canucks got their 1st goal of the season. One of them their 1st NHL goal. Three Islanders got their 1st goal of the season too. So many firsts.

Not the first time we've seen pathetic play from the Nucks in the ROG this season. But it sure better be one of the last.

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!

Embarrassing loss. 2nd most embarrassing loss since the last one.

OBSERVATIONS

The sole bright spot in the game was Lekkerimäki scoring a wicked wrister for his 1st NHL goal.

As a team, the Nucks sucked. As individual players, the Nucks sucked. As a well-coached team, the Nucks weren't well coached.

Maybe this is it. Maybe it's after a few more horrible losses in the ROG, but has Taco lost the room?

Is the fate of the Canucks tied to the 2nd Law of Hockey-Dynamics? That law states that no matter how talented the roster, the roster will return to Country Club casual, with a side of too late panic.

What a terrible game. Terrible effort. Worse execution. And disastrous results.

These repeated poor performances in front of your home fans is completely unacceptable. Especially with a team that, so far, has a 6 and 1 road record. Nucks at home are 2-3-3. Unacceptable!

Fix it! Or start playing home games on the road.

Anything else? Yes!

GET TO FOOOOKING WORK, SLACKERS!

Video Replay

Shortie on the Clown Shoes Night in the ROG.

GAME STATS

SHOTS (through 2 only 6 Nucking shots!!!)

PLAYER POINTS (not nearly enough goals!)

PLAYERS 'N TACO TALK

Josh is back and didn't get the clown shoes memo.

Capt'n Quinn trying to stay even keel when he played poorly as did his team.

Mr Mifler talks about being better. Not a permissive hockey host.

Lekker gets his 1st goal in a disappointing game. Ouch!

Taco Talks about getting out-coached and not knowing much about the team he's paid millions to know lots and lots about.

Flush this game. Down the full bowl of Nucking shame - which is getting far too full, far too soon.

If Taco can't correct this home stand clown show, perhaps the Nucks need to play home games in a less media-visible locale. But where? Let's find out.