Great Tanking News! Last Place Secured Against Interlopers!

Good news... Nucks score a PP goal. That's all we needed.

Here's what we learned:

We're in the stretch. The critical stretch where the Nucks can determine their own fate. Sure, it's the bottom part of an ill-fated season, but some fans like big bottoms. And this afternoon, the Nucks delivered!

The #Canucks have now set the franchise record for most home losses in a season at 23. Vancouver still has five home games left on the schedule.

— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 7:14 PM

This season's team have set the ALL TIME record for home losses in the entire freaking history of poor Nucks home games. You don't 'achieve' that every year. So far...

Tanks for the memories!

Period 1

It was an afternoon game against the Blues. Close enough to no-event hockey.

Nucks and Blues seemed unsure if they wanted to lose or win this game. Best not to take the chance.

Nucks get outshot 5-4. And no goals were scored or given up.

Not even when Lanky went full on Smith and Kane was in the box.

Lanky take a penalty. Kane in the box. That tracks, #Canucks

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 4:33 PM

#Canucks Kierszenstat of the Game: With his tripping penalty, Kevin Lankinen is up to 4 career penalty minutes with Vancouver. That ties Bob Essensa, Steve Weeks, Felix Potvin, Andrew Raycroft, Alex Auld and Curtis Sanford for 23rd all-time among goalies in franchise history

— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 4:32 PM

Period 2

Where to start?

Let's start at the start of the 2nd. And beyond. The low to no event game continued.

The dreaded 2nd period. #Canucks

— Russ Benson 🍁 (@russellgburger.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 5:24 PM

The #Canucks and #Stlblues just went over 15 minutes of play time without a shot on goal. 10:13 left in the first to 14:18 left in the second.

— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 5:09 PM

Finally after some kinda of play in the Nucks zone a goal was scored by a former Canuck. Because of course.

Pew pew? No. Pew. Pew. Pew. #Canucks

— Ryan avgtraveller (@viewfromtherog.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 5:17 PM

Pew pew. ☹️ #Canucks

— CrankyCanucksFan 🇨🇦🏒 (@crankycanucksfan.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 5:18 PM

Suter's blue paint crush goal stands. Unlike the previous Blues goal which was called off because... reasons.

With the game broken (started broken) with the game broken wide open with the 1st permitted goal of the period, Blues scored another 2.

With one of them allowed to stand.

2-0 Blues after 2. The low event motif took a darker turn.

2nd period curse in the ROG? Fact or fiction, #Canucks

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 5:27 PM

My lord the #Canucks suck. We def need a new coach. #Canucks

— DJTaxman77 (@taxman77.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 5:27 PM

It's good that we don't care if they get goals and win, otherwise I'd, you know.... care. #canucks

— Terry & dog 🦮...🇨🇦🍁 (@aweebitdaft.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 5:28 PM

Period 3

Could this be part of a canny tactic... lull the Blues into the comfort of having Beeningting posting a shutout and cruising to a win?

We don't know. What we know is the period starts with Brock in box. And the Nucks PK worked their no goal against magic.

Speaking of magic... the Nucks waited until mid-period to spoil the Blues shutout. On the PP, Ronnie puts a shot on the stick of a Blues D tipping it into the net. That was thoughtful.

Only a goal down, you might have thought the Nucks would pull Lanky and go for the Footey. With a couple minutes to go, Ronnie thought otherwise. Took a cross-checking call. No Footey now.

No Footey tonight! Ronnie takes away Footey's fav play #Canucks

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 6:33 PM

While the Nucks are on PK seems Footey wouldn't be denied. Pulls Lanky, who reluctantly gives up the net so guess what happens...

Ah come on... Footey on the PK is not fair!!! #Canucks

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 6:35 PM

Or maybe there's a greater strategy at play.

Idiotic goalie pull. Pointless. #Canucks

— CrankyCanucksFan 🇨🇦🏒 (@crankycanucksfan.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 6:36 PM

That was the point... no points.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 6:38 PM

Nucks lose 3-1 in the ROG, while minimizing the hockey events or something.

Nucks outshot 21-15 in the game. At least they made it to double digits.

'Generated' 5 shots as part of their powerful pushback in the 3rd that Footey spoke about in his presser.

So Adam Foote is a really good coach for a #Canucks team who wants to finish last. But… can he foster a culture of hard work and dedication while guiding his team to a draft favourable position? Gonna say no.

— CrankyCanucksFan 🇨🇦🏒 (@crankycanucksfan.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 6:07 PM

The grand strategy is fulfilled, even if we're not.

Blues get the tactical win, sure... but the saavy #Canucks win the strategic (basement) victory! Well played, Nucks. Even if the game wasn't.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 6:37 PM

OBSERVATIONS:

Wait, what? FFS! Early start, eh? Well, I hope the East Coast fans are happy. At least they get to see the... Blues? Huh.

— Erin Butler (@eleighbutler.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 7:09 PM

It was an afternoon game to fit in with HNIC lofty schedule. Or something. Not the best loss of the season for the Canucks, but at least a record setting loss. That's something.

Players of Interest:

• Petey's shooting mojo MIA again. 0 shots, but got an apple on the PP.
• Rossi again making the case Nucks have found their 2nd line center as he kept up his point streak. On the lone Nucking PP goal.

The strategic math is getting complicated.

Well, that was a nail biter😂 #Canucks In other news, how ‘bout those Leafs?

— Ralph In The Ridge🇨🇦 (@ralphintheridge.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 6:35 PM

With a regulation loss against #GoSensGo, and #STLBlues beating #Canucks, the Leafs are just four points up on the Blues for fifth-last in the league. The Blues also have two games in hand. #GoJetsGo and #TheFutureIsTeal are just behind the Leafs and just ahead of the Blues as well.

— Maple Leafs News (29-28-12) (@leafschronicle.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 7:00 PM

Rhyme of the game:

Banners on the ceiling Big black whale on the ice And she said, "We are all just prisoners here Of our own device" #Canucks

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— Ryan avgtraveller (@viewfromtherog.bsky.social) March 21, 2026 at 6:34 PM

GAME HIGHLIGHTS

Shortie and Dave calling the no-event play.

GAME STATS

COMMENTING OUT LOUD

Rossi learning the Nucks positivity philosophy.

Ronnie with a goal, iffy penalty and a presser!

Footey gabbing about the pushback gap.

Record setting ROG game! What's to complain about that?

Rhetorical question period will resume next week. Enjoy what's left of this miserable season.