T-T-Top Tanking News! Canucks Get Tanked in Utah!

Good news... Gnarly broke his point drought - picked up assists on both Nucks goals!

Here's what we learned:

Sometimes the worst team in the league looks just like the worst team in the league. Sometimes worse. This might have been one of those games. On the Moms trip, FFS!

While they didn't get shutout - scored 2 goals, as per quota rules, Nucks have still have not won a road game in 2026. Will they win a road game this season? We don't know.

It was a tanker delight. Team-D game not available at this time. Didn't exceed their goal quota. And disintegrated into the 2nd period abyss that we enjoy so often.

Tank you for watching.

Lanky looking leaky again. To be fair, it's a yard sale in front of him. They aren't fully hanging him out to dry, but they aren't making the game simple for him either. #Canucks

— Ryan avgtraveller (@viewfromtherog.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 9:14 PM

Hockey is a complicated game of mistakes. Used to be a simple game of mistakes, but Footey changed it up. #Tanktastic #Canucks

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 9:17 PM

No goal-by-goal, period-by-period description this time. Why bother when the Nucks can't be bothered to play professional hockey.

Ohgren scored a goal in the 1st from Gnarly. That was nice.

Liam Öhgren with the speed and the snipe off a feathery pass by Conor Garland, who finally ends his 13-game point drought. #Canucks

— Daniel Wagner (@passittobulis.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 6:54 PM

Utah scored 2 in the 1st. 2-1 Big furry creature after 1.

Teddy scored a goal in the 2nd. Utah scored 3. Nucks down 5-2 after 2.

Canucks scored no goals in the 3rd. Schmaltz scored his 3rd of the game.

Nucks lose 6-2 on the road. Getting tanked like that is a little sobering.

198th time an opposing player has scored a hat trick against the #Canucks

— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 8:50 PM

It's because I laughed at the Oilers the other night, isn't it? #Canucks

— Hard2BGreene (@hard2bgreene.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 8:49 PM

Yes, yes it is. You're off our basement parade planning group for the rest of the night... Maybe longer.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 8:52 PM

#Canucks Kierszenstat of the Game: With three allowed in the middle frame, Vancouver has now allowed 72 second period goals this season. They allowed 76 second period goals last year.

— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 9:00 PM

How is Kane's trade value doing?

#Canucks Kane keeping the playoff-tough marketing blitz going to the end. If you're a GM or know someone who knows someone's cousin who knows a GM back east, please call PA now. All offers accepted. Free high sticks for the kids!

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 8:59 PM

Season ticket renewal coming up. That'll be an easy sell.

#Canucks season ticket renewal emails coming soon. It's gonna be interesting times for Aquilini. No matter who we draft the player will not replace Quinn's entertainment value. He and the team finally winning was the main reason I bought. This group is becoming too frustrating to even watch on TV.

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— DJTaxman77 (@taxman77.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 9:25 PM

OBSERVATIONS:

Nucks got so outplayed so often it's hard to focus on a single player's performance. But we can try.

Players of Interest:

• Ohgren looked great all game and got a goal!
• Petey got a shot on goal - won more than one FO - but was weak on the puck and the ROG gravity wells made the trip as well.
• Nucks PK gave up a goal! Against a team on a PP drought. You're welcome.
• Kane took a stupid penalty. Yeah, the one the Mamooth scored on. You're very welcome.
• The Nucks puck-watching group caught up with their watching. Maybe too much.
• Footey is looking to be among the worst NHL coaches of all time. Even Pierre McGuire's record was better. Tank commander indeed.

Some knew this tanktastic loss was inevitable.

Called it. Not here but in my friends’ text thread. Dreadful passing, horrid defending… Schmaltz hat trick was inevitable. #Canucks #Mammoth

— CrankyCanucksFan 🇨🇦🏒 (@crankycanucksfan.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 8:49 PM

Mom was not impressed. Maybe they'll see some fun shows in Vegas at least.

I can’t get over how unimpressed Teddy Blueger’s mom is with how the #Canucks are playing.

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— Daniel Wagner (@passittobulis.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 7:58 PM

At least we can be happy about something...

In happy news, the Florida Bootlickers lost again. To Buffalo, who can take their place in the playoffs.

-- Thursday

GAME HIGHLIGHTS

Shortie and Dave are on road to witness a mammoth loss to the Mammoth.

GAME STATS

COMMENTING OUT LOUD

Teddy delivers a goal and honest evaluation.

Footsey said it was because they gave up 3 goals early. And 3 goals later.

If Footey wasn't such a terrible coach maybe we'd feel sorry for him that he'll never coach in the NHL again.

He's going to get fired. But when?

Only one more road humiliation games left before before the Olympic break. At least its in Vegas and the ugly loss will stay there. Unless it's a long odds win, then we can savour it for a few weeks.