Meh Tanking News! Canucks Pick Up A Loser Point!

Bad news... As the game wore on, Nucks looked like the worst team in the league - on HNIC. Barf.

Here's what we learned:

Actually the worst team in the league got close to winning the game, over the far more talented, far more important CoTU gang of losers.

This game really felt like a battle of at the bottom. Unlike the previous game in the ROG, Nucks looked the slower team, the more discombobulated team. Barely.

Sure, CoTU got the eventual winner in the skillz section of the program, but a hollow victory against the worst in the West and the East combined.

The loser point won't hurt the tank, so no worries. Or will it?

Worst possible outcome. We lose to the Leafs AND get a point. The Tank is displeased. #Canucks

— CrankyCanucksFan 🇨🇦🏒 (@crankycanucksfan.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 6:57 PM

Period 1

No goals were scored by either team in the entire period.

That bodes well.

Leafs look really hesitant and nervous. Fragile, even. Go #Canucks

— LesnielBC 🇨🇦🇩🇰 (@lesnielbc.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 4:25 PM

Period ends in the well-deserved 0-0 tie and 7-7 shot clock tie.

Also... the giveaway battle was pretty tight as well.

Are they presenting a trophy tonight in the ROG for the team with the most giveaways? #Canucks

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 4:28 PM

Period 2

Nucks get on the board 1st.

Ohgren and Joseph setup Lekker for a wicked shot.

Nucks lead 1-0.

And seem to be out playing the timid Laffs.

#Leafs handling the puck like it’s a grenade. They look terrible, like a team that’s 10 points out of the playoffs and feeling the pressure. #Canucks

— LesnielBC 🇨🇦🇩🇰 (@lesnielbc.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 5:27 PM

Whatever. Nucks extend the lead with a Petey snipe into the open net... because the Woll was distracted by a zippy Gnarland zipping through his crease.

Of course Laffs protest to the head office and goal is overturned.

happiest guy at rogers with the challenge is craig simpson. #canucks

— jbearz.bsky.social (@jbearz.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 5:20 PM

Whoa, they overturned it quickly #Canucks

— Atinna Gunawan (@atinnag.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 5:21 PM

CoTU has connections with CoTU HQ.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 5:23 PM

CoTU having won the CoTU judgement, start playing better and sneak a puck past Tolo as the Nucks suffer a minor defensive breakdown. The major ones happen in the 3rd. That the eastern slapstick team couldn't capitalize on.

We thought the Nucks would put the game away as Kane breaks in all alone and...

Wide open and Kane delivers a powerful 10mph shot into Woll's glove. That's trade-worthy playoff performance right there #Canucks.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 5:34 PM

Kane with the most flaccid of shots… 🤦🏼‍♂️ #Canucks

— CrankyCanucksFan 🇨🇦🏒 (@crankycanucksfan.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 5:33 PM

He did redeem himself later as he made playoff-ready pass to Willi who scores! Petey picked up an assist, which was good since he didn't record a shot. And was horrible in the dot - winning 1 FO all game.

Sweet - nice pass from Kane to Willander for a great looking goal from the young D Man. EP40 got the play started with a great defensive play to send the play the other way. It's brutal that there are so many Laff fans in the rink. #Canucks

— Seattle Chef 🍁 🇨🇦 (@seattlechef.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 5:43 PM

To be fair, the ROG is the CoTU home rink on the road.

Canucks lead 2-1 after 2, outshooting the visiting home team 14-11.

Period 3

This period was well played by both teams. If this was a North Shore beer league game.

Otherwise, it almost seemed the teams were more driven to win the Giveaway Trophy than the meaningless game.

However, the Laffs had the most O-zone time by 15 minutes or more.

I dunno that I've seen the canucks touch the puck yet other than a random clear.

-- Twitch

Finally, with all the chances the Laffs were blowing and Tolo was thwarting, it was a fluke Domi goal that tied the game. Tolo made the save, but the rebound bounced off his back and in. Ouch!

Ahhh that's tough for Tolopilo. Dude's been great this week, unfortunate that Domi shot handcuffed him. #Canucks

— Lachlan Irvine (@lachinthecrease.com) January 31, 2026 at 6:14 PM

Still there's a little token excitement for the ROG as they Keystone Beer Leaguers traded a few chances.

That was a fun bit of back-and-forth!

Hockey is a game of mistakes, and boy, HOWDY do these teams deliver! Topper's been good, though.

-- Thursday

3rd period ends in a 2-2 tie, with CoTU outshooting the local beer league team, 18-5.

Unsurprisingly #Canucks and #Leafs off to OT. Two bad teams need more time to determine who’s worse 😆

— LesnielBC 🇨🇦🇩🇰 (@lesnielbc.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 6:44 PM

OT

This was an exciting period with both teams blowing multiple chances. Ronnie passing off a clean look to Petey who had a couple swipes but couldn't connect.

Both these teams suck. How many grade A chances do you need? #Canucks

— DJTaxman77 (@taxman77.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 6:49 PM

Too many.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 6:51 PM

The scariest and yet most wonderful moment was when Mathews got a penalty shot as Gnarly was too Gnarly. While we all held our breaths, Tolo stopped the porn-stache maven stone cold.

As is often the case in beer league games, neither basement dwelling team would score. Laffs outshot the non-scoring locals 5-4. So what?

Neither team can even tank properly. #Canucks

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— Ryan avgtraveller (@viewfromtherog.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 6:42 PM

SHOOTOUT

While Tolo is a good goalie, he's no Lanky in Lanky time. Gave up goals to Nyyyyyyyland and Mathews and neither Petey or DeBrusky scored. Although the latter did clang the iron.

Petey needs to play with better wingers for sure but he was awful tonight in the faceoff dot and not a difference maker in OT and is OHFER in the shootout this year. Not worth his contract. #Canucks

— 🇨🇦 Robin 🇨🇦 (@rocre.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 7:00 PM

And Foote puts him on FO with a minute to go tied game d-zone. Make it make sense!!! Argh. Petey is not a natural talent at FOs. He’s a natural talent at making our FO stars get traded. …

— 🇨🇦Cathy Canucks(🇬🇱🇺🇦) (@cathyrd.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 8:32 PM

OBSERVATIONS:

Nucks might have won, if only they were a better hockey team. They're not and they didn't.

Players of Interest:

• Willi looked great all game and got a goal!
• Petey at least got an assist. Horrible in the dot and constantly falling down into those ROG gravity wells that most other players avoid.
• Nucks PK didn't give up a goal! Because no PP penalties were called. Only the Gnarland penalty shot swipe in OT.

With this loss to the Laffs, we got official confirmation from the sky.

Now the season is officially a failure. #Canucks

— Steve Burgess (@steveburgess53.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 6:57 PM

11.5 scores. 11.6 does not. #Canucks suck

— DJTaxman77 (@taxman77.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 6:56 PM

Small victories are ours, however.

#Canucks WIN! The Giveaway Trophy 19-15! Parade and Presentation details to follow.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 9:37 PM

GAME HIGHLIGHTS

Shortie and Dave aren't worthy enough to cover a ROG game on HNIC. Instead it's Cuthfart and Simper. Barf. Hit the mute button for watching.

I don't care about the result of this game. I just need these announcers to stop talking 😫 #Canucks

— lady🇨🇦 luck🇨🇦 canuck (@ladyluckcanuck.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 6:45 PM

Simmer and Cuthbert, to their credit, aren’t even pretending to be unbiased in their love of the #Leafs. #Canucks

— LesnielBC 🇨🇦🇩🇰 (@lesnielbc.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 6:12 PM

GAME STATS

COMMENTING OUT LOUD

Wily Willi delivers a goal and a veteran presser.

Petey mumbles through the presser. Kinda like his game.

Tolo played great and gets to talk about it.

Footsey said it was good game and happy to coach in the beer leagues again.

Might have been a decent loss. But that stupid loser point was unrequired. Although the Nucks broke another streak. 1st time since 2019, Nucks have lost to CoTU in the ROG.

Only a couple more road humiliation games left before before the Olympic break. Monday Nucks are in Utah searching for a loss with dignity. Or an indignant win. That'd be fine too.