Come For The Banter - Stay For The Disappointment

Nucks Fan Rebuild & Retool Center - Come For The Banter - Stay For The Disappointment

Tanko for April 9

April 9, 2026

- Vern Faulkner

Hang in there. We're almost done. Almost through this blunderfest. Let's make the last few games slightly less dreary, by playing a little game we call Tanko.

It's the bingo-style game based on Canuck ineptitude, of which there is a whole lot. We sprinkled some new failures and foulups into tonight's edition. So turn on the TV or the radio, be prepared to be "right there," and just "trust the process" as we "focus on the details" and ...

Aw friggit.

T	A	N	K	O
Less than 20 shots on goal	Rookie makes mistake, minutes reduced	Video review goes against the Canucks	Opposition has a player out-scoring EP40 at less cost	Jake DeBrusk fails to score
Player/coach mentions “system,” whatever that means	EP40 <50% in faceoff circle	Video review goes against the Canucks	Atu Raty barely given ice time.	PO Joseph out of position on a goal
Blundered line change.	Opponent scores hat-trick	Thatcher Demko injured	Brock Boeser held goal-less	Outscored in second period
Radio/TV mentions Gavin McKenna	Canucks penalized in the last three minutes of the game	Canucks Shut Out	Marcus Petterson out of position on a goal.	Foote says “we can’t make those mistakes” about a mistake that’s happened all freaking season long.
Opposition scores 5 or more goals	Opposition scores empty-net goal	Penalty kill surrenders goal	Power play fails to score	EP 40 fails to get a shot on goal. Again.

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