Great Tanking News! Last Place Secured In A Most Fugly Way!

Good news... other than the kids getting fistycuffy late, while the vets, like Kane, did nothing gives us peek into the future. Feisty kids. Dull vets.

Here's what we learned:

Canucks started the game semi-decent. 10 minutes a game is the new quota when there's nothing to play for at home. Fans don't count. Teammates neither. And they certainly don't want to be playing for this coach.

Hoo, that was a tough one. First ten minutes were fine, then it declined. Lots. Got some lively post-whistle play at the end, so that's fun. Character-building and all.

A dozen games to go!

-- Thursday

Like to say it was a comedy of errors that kept the Nucks from scoring... but somehow feels more tragic.

Lanky played well. Best Canucks player. Faced 38 shots and finished with a .919SV% which could've been enough to eeeek out a win. If the rest of the Nucks could've put more than 19 shots on D'arcy.

But they didn't. Couldn't. Or wouldn't.

#Canucks Kierszenstat of the Game: Vancouver finishes their game against the Kings with 19 shots meaning that fans do not get the 20% Uber Eats discount.

— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 9:31 PM

Tanks for the memories!

Period 1

Nucks don't score. Not on their PP. Not 5-on-5.

Kings score on their PP. LA outshoots Nucks 15-7.

1-0 Kings after 1 and now we cue up the 2nd period doom tunes.

#Canucks reclaim their place in the most PP goals allowed... take that Boooourns!

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 7:39 PM

Period 2

Nucks do not score any goals.

However, they keep the curse of the 2nd or is it of the 32nd placed team. Give up 2 goals to trail 3-0.

Ah! I see the Canucks' most cursed period is keeping to form.

-- Thursday

While the Kings managed the long change to put up 17 shots, Nucks were lucky to put 5 on D'arcy.

Meanwhile, young marathon man, Willi completed a 3 minute shift without looking terrible or more importantly, giving up a goal.

Lankinen getting his workout!

Willander does cardio.

Kane draws.

Whew!

-- Thursday

It wasn't as exciting as it sounds. Canucks were embarrassed by the Kings on home ice through 2 periods.

No worries. There's one more to go.

The #Canucks are like the Washington Generals of hockey, but less entertaining. Sort of a real team,with some skill and they put up a bit of resistance, but you know they aren't gonna win.

— Russ Benson 🍁 (@russellgburger.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 9:13 PM

Besides... records are available for the taking...

30th time this season the #Canucks have allowed multiple goals in the second period

— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 8:36 PM

Period 3

Canucks do not score any goals.

Because the comeback kids narrative was lost in the inter and the new goal is to somehow get just a single goal.

P.O. Joseph with Vancouver's best chances tonight. Nice play, but that pretty much tells you how it's going for the #Canucks

— Erin Butler (@eleighbutler.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 9:16 PM

With 5 minutes to go and nothing going in for the Nucks... the Footey is the early last resort.

A record-setting Footey! Woo(ish).

The #Canucks have now set the franchise record for most empty net goals allowed in a single season with 21. The original record of 20 was set last season.

— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 9:44 PM

Now down 4-zip and nothing much to do but set the tone for the next meeting with the Kings. That's a vet move.

Except it wasn't the vets. It was Willi and Zeev leading the payback charge.

#Canucks Zeev Buium on the late-game fight

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— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 9:59 PM

Kane stood by and watched. Probably a good thing Footey kept Douglas Fir out of the game. Good in that awful coaching way he has mastered in his rookie season.

But still... can't expect all the ROG losses to be close. Or even mildly acceptable.

When defending the basement, not every loss can be pretty, so #Canucks get a fugly loss in the ROG. No worries. Can get some pretty losses on the road.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 9:33 PM

OBSERVATIONS:

Awful performance. It was like watching a last place team that had given up on the game, the season, the coach. Understand the later.

At least Atty's dream from last game is still on the board.

I just want to get to the point when we mathematically secured the last place in the league. Then at least I can start rooting for a win.
Should be close to that, maybe next week?

-- Atty

Players of Interest:

Nothing that interesting to talk about. Only 7% wins for D-zone draws. 26% over all. Ouch!

Some Nucks fan love for the coach...

I know it’s a rebuild but man, Foote’s gotta go. There’s just no system, no cohesion. #Canucks

— kitsilanojaycam.bsky.social (@kitsilanojaycam.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 8:39 PM

The Canuck would be actively sabotaging the development of their next core group if they choose to retain Foote. It's one think to lose games when you have less talent. It's another when your system is wholly ineffective.

— Seattle Chef 🍁 🇨🇦 (@seattlechef.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 8:52 PM

Meanwhile... Franny needs us to pay more for less... because...

🤔🤬 #Canucks

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— CZ 🇨🇦 💙 🇺🇦 (@choiceznewz.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 9:23 PM

GAME HIGHLIGHTS

Shortie and Dave calling the Nucking play.

GAME STATS

COMMENTING OUT LOUD

Brock has to make up some answers.

Zeev getting some kudos for his passion.

Nucks PR kept the Footey presser to themselves. But we did get this snippet...

#Canucks Adam Foote on the lack of production from his first line:

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— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) March 26, 2026 at 10:30 PM

One wonders if half or any of the players can keep up with Professor Footey's dissertations on the momentous multi-zone molecular rotation of molluscacidal deployments entering the woven weave, like, you know, we discussed managing it moving forward.

Good news! No more home losses this season!

Until the Nucks get back from their 4 game road losing tour. Starts Saturday on HNIC in Cowtown. How much fun will that be?