Great Tanking News! Last Place Team Keeps The Darkness On

Good news... Canucks play to lose in a boring game. Monday-style.

Here's what we learned:

The Sens are playing desperate hockey, trying to grab the last little bit of the last wildcard spot. Nucks are playing to keep their stinky mitts on last place. Both teams are very motivated. Neither team is very good.

In this game, which the Nucks had the chances to win, it was the Sens who wanted the win more. Nucks were just back from a successful 3 point out of 4 road trip. No need to get too keen in the 1st game of this 8 game home stand.

.957SV% Lanky was keen, however, only beaten once on a Sens lucky goal from a 'legal' glove pass / deflection. If not for that goal and requisite Footey we'd still be in Lanky time.

With all the desperation you might wonder why the game was so booooring. Simple. It was a Prime Monday game. Murican coverage with baseball and eastern cabal connections.

Just boring enough!

#Canucks have an 11 point leads for 32nd place with 18 games remaining.

— Adam Kierszenblat (@adamkblat.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 9:07 PM

Calgary has 8 more regulation wins so it's probably safe to call it a 12 point lead.

— canucks4419.bsky.social (@canucks4419.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 9:10 PM

Period 1

Canucks do not score. Sens do not score.

The tie is preserved despite the Nucks getting outshot 8-4.

Although there was some Prime debate about that...

#Canucks game appears to be a riveting match based on my app and the shot total be 8-4 Sens. 🙄🙄🙄 Just another reason why I’ll NEVER order Prime. #BezosSucks

— LesnielBC 🇨🇦🇩🇰 (@lesnielbc.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 6:56 PM

It's TV Streamer symmetry. 16th place team vs 32nd.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 7:09 PM

Period 2

Some say 2nd periods in the ROG are cursed.

This was a pretty mild curse as the puck deflected off a stinky Pinto glove to a Sens forward all alone in the slot. Why was he all alone in the slot in the slot? We don't know... maybe the Canucks felt - ever sensitive to visiting players on long goal droughts - needed some alone time.

Of course since there was stinky glove contact and Footey hates stinky gloves - or so it's rumoured - he challenges the goal. And loses.

Idiotic challenge. 🤦🏼‍♂️ #Canucks

— CrankyCanucksFan 🇨🇦🏒 (@crankycanucksfan.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 7:32 PM

Just how we like 'em.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 7:37 PM

Now that's a challenge you make for the tank. #Canucks

— Brayden Fengler (@braydenfengler.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 7:33 PM

Footey explained later, the same ref called no goal on a similar play last November - but that was back east, where the rules are applied in a different manner. As per the unwritten league rules.

Just a light case of Second Period Curse today. Only down by one going into the third!

-- Thursday

Sens lead 1-0 after 2. At least the shots are tied 9-9. So, that's something.

God bless em for trying, but the #Canucks #Senators matchup is boring as fuck after 2 periods 🥱

— pNak 🇨🇦 🃏 (@pnak3000.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 7:51 PM

#Canucks in the 2nd preserve the tie again. Almost. Cue the tankerista comeback. Or the Footey. Or both.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 7:52 PM

Period 3

Nucks don't score. Had a big pushback that involved as many as 3 shots. Not just from their PP and masterful 6-on-5 Footey time, either.

The Sky lit up with some Prime comments... because the game or the coverage wasn't that riveting.

Anyone else feel this Prime broadcast feels like we are watching a Senators TV feed? #Canucks

— Bored Dog 🇨🇦 (@boreddog.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 8:12 PM

The Prime broadcasts are pure ass.

— Andrew (@gusnolly.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 8:50 PM

I hate these broadcasts. Why do we bring in announcers that know nothing about either team? Plus, it means one more subscription to watch your team. It's getting stupid.

— trueblueser.bsky.social (@trueblueser.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 8:17 PM

We live in an enstupifying era.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 8:18 PM

About that Nucks PP...

#Canucks get their scary looking PP back on the ice. Avert your gaze.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 8:32 PM

Not only did we avert our gaze, the Nucks averted getting setup and getting the unneeded chance to tie the game.

Must...Stay...Awake...

The boys need to string some plays together, here.

-- Thursday

Since the extra-man worked so well on the PP, late in the period, Footey invokes Footey time.

And that's how Sens most disgusting player pots the EN.

Crappy game with a worse finish. Nucks got outshot 7-3 during the tedium...er... third period.

However, there was some news on the tank tracks.

The good news: both Chicago and the Rangers pick up wins. You can win if you want to, guys!

-- Thursday

They didn't.

They just wanted to get off the ice, get in their mega-dollar luxury cars and head back to their mega-dollar 1 bedroom apts in the west end.

#Canucks change up tank practice - get shutout 2-0 at home. Ok, fine. Not that much of a change up.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 8:41 PM

James Reimer looks like Hasek against these #Canucks. Can’t wait til next season 🤬

— pNak 🇨🇦 🃏 (@pnak3000.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 8:42 PM

Everyone in Rogers arena after the #Canucks game

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— LesnielBC 🇨🇦🇩🇰 (@lesnielbc.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 8:45 PM

OBSERVATIONS:

Nucks got shutout at home for only the 4th time this season. So far. 7 more chances to boost the stat.

Players of Interest:

• 4th liners worked their hard working mojo all game. With no results.
• Lanky played well - deserved the win - even if the Nucks didn't.
• Douglas looked great in his 6:52 debut time. Didn't injure any Upchuks as hoped.

Results aside, what did we think of the #Canucks’ effort tonight, folks?

— CrankyCanucksFan 🇨🇦🏒 (@crankycanucksfan.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 8:42 PM

Beautiful tankerista statement game.

— NucksMisconduct (@nucksmisconduct.bsky.social) March 9, 2026 at 8:56 PM

GAME HIGHLIGHTS

It's Prime Monday - even watching the recap can induce sleep and nausea. Best to avoid.

GAME STATS

COMMENTING OUT LOUD

2nd Star of the Game gets the near-shutout.

Zeev breaking out!

Footsey defending the tedium.

Gotta get a goal. Once in awhile. Not too often.

Nucks get a couple days of home cooking and slacking off to prep for the Preds on Thursday for game 2 of this homestand. This long, long home stand.