Finally. Finally to the Finals.
Not that we care. This has been a tough Nucking season for us. And to dig the salted wound a bit deeper, one of these teams will be a first time Cup winner. We know what that feels like.
No. No, we don't. And that's what makes this past decade of Nucking futility so frustrating. In case you missed the past 12 years.
Anyhow, we're not here to wine about our terrible, micro-managing owner, his terrible choices for GM, great choice for Prez, his GM's terrible 8 year exercise in futile roster building, his terrible decision to fire his Prez and keep the incompetent GM in place - for years. And now retreading the rebuil-tool belt with another team of highly paid professional managers from the east - who hadn't watched a Nucks game until last year.
No, we're not going to mention any of those things.
Instead we're going to sit back and watch these southern hockey power houses knock the stuffing out of each other, while the HNIC broadcast team wet themselves with their clever cliché insights into Gary's game.
Game 1: Today, Jun 3 at 5pm PDT in Lost Spaces
Game 2: Mon, Jun 5 at 5pm PDT in Lost Spaces
Game 3: Thur, Jun 8 at 5pm PDT in Lost Beaches
Game 4: Sat, Jun 10 at 5pm PDT in Lost Beaches
Game 5: Tues, Jun 13 at 5pm PDT in Lost Spaces
VEGAS is your 2023 Stanley Cup Champs!
Congrats to the Canadian boys - more Canucks, (18), on the team than any other in the SCP.
Also... a shoutout to former Canucklehead, Ben Hutton, who played against the Jets and now has a Cup ring...
Now we can switch our tainted focus on the Draft. And how JR and Alvin and the Chipmunks make the team better. On paper. To be fair, the summer is the best time to sport our latest Nucking false hope fashions. Strut that Nucking delusion like it's hot!
Traditions are important. Around here, we celebrate
April May by trying to decide who we'd least hate to see win the Cup.
So it begins... all over again.
16 8 teams enter, all Canucks fans sigh.
The reduced game lineup:
TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS VS FLORIDA PANTHERS - 4 PM Pacific - ESPN, CBC, TVAS, SN
The improbable matchup we all knew was coming. CoTU knocked off the 2 timing-Covid-Cup Champs and the 2022 President Cup winning Cats beat the 2023 President Cup winners. Now they get to knock each other out for the prestige of representing the east against another team from the east. Geo-hockey at its finest? We'll see.
Cats win series 4-1
TUESDAY, MAY 2: AT TORONTO, 4 P.M. Pacific - Cats won 4-2
THURSDAY, MAY 4: AT TORONTO, 4 P.M. Pacific - Cats won 3-2
SUNDAY, MAY 7: AT FLORIDA, 3:30 P.M. Pacific - Cats won 3-2
WEDNESDAY, MAY 10: AT FLORIDA, 4 P.M. Pacific - Leafs won 2-1
FRIDAY, MAY 12: AT TORONTO, - Cats won 3-2 in OT
CAROLINA HURRICANES VS. NEW JERSEY DEVILS
The reining almost sorta wannabe Cup champs vs the freshly rebuilt (re-tooled?) Devils. Some say NJ deserve a good caning, others say the Devil is in the puns. Whatever. This is another eastern series that is of little interest to us Nuckleheads - other than the Hughes brothers family dynamics.
Canes win series 4-1
WEDNESDAY, MAY 3: AT CAROLINA, 4 P.M. Pacific - Canes win 5-1
FRIDAY, MAY 5: AT CAROLINA, 5 P.M. Pacific - Canes win 6-1
SUNDAY, MAY 7: AT NEW JERSEY, 12:30 P.M. Pacific - Devils win 8-4
TUESDAY, MAY 9: AT NEW JERSEY, 4 P.M. Pacific - Canes win 6-1
THURSDAY, MAY 11: AT CAROLINA - Canes win 3-2 in OT
DALLAS STARS VS SEATTLE KRAKEN - 6:30 PM Pacific - ESPN, CBC, TVAS, SN
Another upsetting team takes on another annoying team in the great battle of whatever they call it in Texas. Probably BBQ or something. Will this be the most exciting series to watch? No, it will not. Grinders vs Coffee Grinders.
Stars win series 4-3 (just as predicted... not by me, but by some)
TUESDAY, MAY 2: AT DALLAS, 6:30 P.M. Pacific - Spoiler - Krak'd 5-4 in OT
THURSDAY, MAY 4: AT DALLAS, 6:30 P.M. Pacific - Stars win 4-1
SUNDAY, MAY 7: AT SEATTLE, 6:30 P.M. Pacific - Krak'd win 7-2
TUESDAY, MAY 9: AT SEATTLE, 6:30 P.M. Pacific - Stars win 6-4
THURSDAY, MAY 11: AT DALLAS, 6:30 P.M. Pacific - Stars win 5-2
SATURDAY, MAY 13: AT SEATTLE, Krak'd win 6-3
MONDAY, MAY 15: AT DALLAS, 5:00 P.M. Pacific - Stars win 2-1
VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS VS. EDMONTON OILERS - MAY 3: AT VEGAS, 6:30 P.M. Pacific ESPN, CBC, TVAS, SN
What's not to like about this series? Other than we may finally get to see whether a decade of tanking can beat buying your way into the league with a sweet, sweet Gary drafting deal. Could be a battle of Special Teams or just a battle of so-so goalies. Guess we have to watch and find out.
Not that much of a battle of special teams... so much as a battle of special goalies
Knighties win series 4-2
WEDNESDAY, MAY 3: AT VEGAS, 6:30 P.M. Pacific - Nighties win 6-4
SATURDAY, MAY 6: AT VEGAS, 4 P.M. Pacific - Oilers win 5-1
MONDAY, MAY 8: AT EDMONTON, 5:30 P.M. Pacific - Nighties win 5-1
WEDNESDAY, MAY 10: AT EDMONTON, 7 P.M. Pacific - Oilers win 4-1
FRIDAY, MAY 12: AT VEGAS, 7 P.M. Pacific - Nighties win 4-3
SUNDAY, MAY 14: AT EDMONTON, 7 P.M. Pacific - Nighties win 5-2
More dull coverage to follow... Enjoy not watching the Nucks get beaten and bruised by goons.
Traditions are important. Around here, we celebrate April by trying to decide who we'd least hate to see win the Cup.
After a pretty eventful and entertaining (except for that snoozefest in Raleigh) first night of the NHL playoffs, there's another four games on the schedule tonight.
NEW YORK RANGERS vs NEW JERSEY DEVILS- 4PM PDT- SN360
Most teams would be feeling a bit of pressure as the team with home ice advantage to start the series, but in this case, I'd say all the pressure is on the Rangers. With the Devils putting together the biggest surprise of the season in the way they played, and the Rangers looking to get that extra step past last year's Conference Finals appearance, you have to think the Devils are in a good place in terms of confidence. This is the Rangers chance to show they have what it takes, and this young New Jersey team will give them everything they can handle.
TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING vs TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS- 4:30PM PDT- CBC, SN EAST, ONTARIO & PACIFIC.
The Tampa Bay Lightning are still a pretty good team, but this is not the same team that damn near won their third straight Cup last spring. The window's open, but not nearly as wide, and while Toronto's goaltending situation has been interesting, to say the least, they should be able to finally snap this streak of first round losses, much to the relief of the Leafs faithful.
WINNIPEG JETS vs VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS- 6:30PM PDT- SN WEST.
While I said I won't view it as an upset, the hockey world in general will be shocked if the Wild Card Jets beat the house in Vegas. The thing to remember about Las Vegas: almost everything you see is an illusion to try and make you feel like you're actually having fun and not getting ripped off. The sporting world loves an upset, and the glitz and glam of Vegas losing to frumpy, dumpy Winnipeg would be thoroughly enjoyable.
SEATTLE KRAKEN vs COLORADO AVALANCHE- 7PM PDT- SN360
Full credit to the Seattle Kraken for putting together a solid second season and earning their first playoff appearance in franchise history. Just a shame that it has to come against the defending champs in the Colorado Avalanche. The Kraken won't be embarrassed, but they won't put a scare into the Avs, either.